Monk Key

Monk Key, Songs of the Mist by Sashi

The story line is good but everyone has a story to tell. It's how you tell it that matters. And a good author takes time to build characters before plunging into the story.

Take the first couple of pages for example, about this woman who realised that the man she wrote letters to, for over a decade, and who just had a funeral, was still alive and his daughter who found the letters emailed this woman saying she is going to find her father. But that's not all is it? A woman who writes letters and lives away from civilisation has a smooth running life that she enjoys, which we are not told about at all. She then receives an email and we don't know how she felt when she received it so unexpectedly after she returned home from her usual (coffee? walk? music classes?) smooth floating life. So much could have been said in the first few pages. So much.

Other obvious stand outs include the use of  'sparkle in the eye' which often refers to excitement, mischief or general happiness, and definitely not tears and the sadness of losing a husband or father.
Difference between sports and games, use of passed out vs graduated, usage of he/him to refer to more than one person in the same paragraph leading to confusing understanding, etc show case the lack of good editors more than anything else.

And then the story itself is so desperate to be epic and spiritual that it is nothing but.The book reeks of ambition that falls short of action.

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